The Full English: Slim Pickin's

We’re in a bit of a transitional period right now. If you have looked at the EPL schedule for this weekend, you’d find as many games on the schedule as there edible foods in my fridge, which is to say very few.
With the international fixtures that ruled the week, the league has decided to take a week off. The only teams playing are those who have games in hand, and after is all said and done by Wednesday, all 20 teams will be up to speed, Fulham withstanding as they will still be a game behind.
It goes without saying that this particular column will be missing a great deal of the meat that you’ve grown to know and love. Yes, there are FA Cup fixtures to be played, with a moderately interesting EPL match-up between West Ham and Middlesbrough being the ‘highlight,’ but for my Saturday, it simply won’t do. Sunday thougAs far as the league goes, we have exactly one game to indulge on Saturday, the epic battle between manager-less Portsmouth and manager-less Manchester City. Should be exciting. Maybe because it’s Valentines Day the schedule makers assumed everyone would rather be out with their loved ones doing the romantic thing. Not I, Barclay’s fat cat, not I.
Thankfully the other match in this pair comes on Wednesday and is a tasty showdown between Manchester United and Fulham. I think they did this whole ordeal to tease us ahead of the genuinely exciting action the following week. It’ll be a full plate of The Full English next time around, you can count on that.
Similar to how I deal with what’s in my fridge, I’m going to make the most of what we have on offer and try to scrape together a column worth berating. Because that is after all, where I get my kicks…lovely reader reactions.
Let the adventure begin!
The Bacon (as in Bringing It Home)Portsmouth v. Manchester City (Fratton Park, February 14th, 9:55 a.m. ET, Setanta Xtra)
I’m not sure if morale could be any lower for Pompey players than it is right now. Not only did Liverpool come back and shock them in their match last weekend, but the loss resulted in the sacking of their manager, Tony Adams.
Now that I think about it, it’s not like they were exactly playing for Adams anyway. Maybe this could turn out to be a good thing? Who knows. A loss is a loss though, and that one was as disheartening as they come. It’s going to be really hard for Portsmouth to salvage anything from this season. And to question myself for the second time in this paragraph: it’s going to be hard for half the league to salvage anything from this season.
Seven points, eight teams. Who wants to stay up? If I was a betting man, Portsmouth won’t be one of them.
Manchester City on the other hand? They seem to be steadying, amazingly. They are like a circus, without the exciting act, and there certainly isn’t any cotton candy. Good things come to those who wait however, and The Citizens will be chomping at the bit to play Portsmouth on Saturday. Let’s rewind back to September 21st, 2008. Portsmouth traveled to Eastlands and came back home embarrassed after a 6-0 drubbing at the hands of Mark Hughes’ boys. The impressive bit? Six separate goal-scorers. Jo even bagged one.
Simply put, I expect more of the same on Saturday. Portsmouth are primed and ready for a whoopin’ and Man City are ready to give one. Fratton Park is no fortress either.
TFE Prediction: Two straight good results you say? Amazing. Man City 3-1Manchester United v. Fulham (Old Trafford, February 18th, 2:55 p.m. ET, Setanta Sports)
They can’t possibly keep this streak going can they? It’s one of the most amazing things I’ve seen in football since I started watching it as a wee lad back in Leicester. Facing Fulham isn’t exactly going to scare the Red Devils and their impressive run, given that Clint Dempsey and pals have managed a shockingly low 22 goals this season, two less than West Brom, if that’s even possible.
Despite all the good things Fulham have done this season, it is hard for me to see them taking anything from Old Trafford on Wednesday. They could snatch a draw, a 0-0 draw, but still that seems very unlikely the way United have been playing.
It doesn’t look like Wayne Rooney will be back, so I suspect Dimi Berbatov and Carlos Tevez will do the dirty work. They always do. It must be nice to have three strikers of that quality on your roster, not to mention a certain #7 waiting on the wing.
TFE Prediction: ManU make tidy work of this one, winning 2-0. Fulham still play well though and will be satisfied with their progressive performance.
FA Cup Action (of the Flash Fried variety)
Swansea v. Fulham: The Cottagers have shown their class all season, and even though this match is away from Craven, they will be too strong for an over-achieving Swansea side. Prediction: Fulham
Blackburn v. Coventry: An interesting match-up, but still hard to see anything but a win for the EPL side here. Rovers have been playing quite well of late, and it took a convincing victory by Aston Villa to end Sam Allardyce’s great start as gaffer. He starts another on Saturday. Prediction: BlackburnSheffield United v. Hull: Phil Brown needs this one. His Tigers are sinking fast and a boost in cup play is just what they need. Sheffield are right in the thick of things in the bid for promotion back to the EPL, and they could replace Hull if Brown doesn’t get the ship back on course. Prediction: Hull
West Ham v. Middlesbrough: Two teams I cannot stand watching. I feel the same previewing them. I’m going with West Ham though, simply because I’m happy for Carlton Cole and his first cap as a member of the Three Lions. Prediction: West Ham
Watford v. Chelsea: Guus’ first match in charge. The guy has style. Will show it in this one. Big win for the Blues. Prediction: Chelsea
Everton v. Aston Villa: I love when these two get together. Their battle in December was probably my match of the year. How do I see this one going? It’s really hard to say. Goodison Park has been rocking of late, but Villa have been playing solid. Ehhhhhhh. Prediction: Aston VillaDerby County v. Manchester United: If ManU lose this, I’d be shocked. Prediction: Manchester UnitedArsenal v. Cardiff City: Cardiff played well in the first match between these two, but Arsenal’s young boys typically play well in cup action. I suspect that trend continues during Monday’s lone match. Bonus: Aaron Ramsey haunts his old mates with an impressive peformance. Prediction: Arsenal
The Toast (as in Of The EPL)Ryan Giggs, Manchester United: A sublime goal against West Ham opened some eyes. Sir Alex’s being the main set. The Welsh winger signed a one-year contract extension on Thursday, continuing the amazing career of the man who is 35 going on 22.
Samir Nasri, Arsenal: This guy should have a nice Valentines Day given the amount of attention he receives from the ladies. But no, the Frenchman doesn’t like the attention and spends his time playing Pro Evo in his London flat. Normally, I don’t really care for Frenchies, but this modest member of Les Blues seems like an alright chap.
Eduardo, Arsenal: The Arsenal striker has suffered a long lay-off since his horrific injury last year. It’s almost been an entire year since he’s been in the first team. That spell could end against Cardiff. He played so well for the Gunners since joining them, hopefully his form can be recovered once he gets back on the pitch.
Leicester Update:
Ok, so the Oldham match ended 0-0. No bragging rights either way, except the fact that Leicester are top of the league and will continue to be for the rest of the season. The lead is now 11 points. Plenty, I say. I do suppose a quick mention of Dean Windass is in order, as the new Oldham striker played goalie for 40 minutes following Greg Fleming's straight red for a challenge on my boy Matty Fryatt. He can do it all. Look for a big money move to the Bernabeu in the summer.
The real news is next season’s kit, which I subsequently dreamt about last night. Similar to what Aston Villa is doing, the Foxes will sport the name of a local charitable organization on the front of their shirts, taking no money to do so. There is good in the world, it just so happens to be located in the Midlands.
And Finally…The Black Pudding of the Week:
Joe Kinnear, Newcastle: While you’re reading this, Joe Kinnear may be under the knife having serious heart surgery, which is set to go down sometime on Friday. I don’t know about you, but Kinnear’s brash attitude and honesty has grown on me since he took over the Magpies somewhat randomly in September. I’m not usually a praying man, but I will certainly be send a quick one Kinnear’s way on Friday. You should do the same.Shane Evans is an associate editor of Goal.com. His feature, "The Full English" appears every Friday morning on Goal.com.h, is a different story.